Tennessee was as different and interesting as I expected it to be.
The plan for the weekend was simple. Fly to Nashville. Meet up with little brother. Celebrate upcoming wedding with campout. Grill some steaks. Enjoy some brews. Play some poker. Go to bed. Keep it clean, and keep it sane. That was the plan for the "Big Bachelor Party". Honestly, I've thought that it doesn't make much sense to celebrate the wedding of a friend or brother with a trip to a strip joint. It doesn't make sense to me to start a commitment with an event that is entirely dodgy in nature. My response. Campout. Men can be men. Eat meat. Drink beer. Play cards. Go to sleep. Nothing crazy.
The state of Tennessee would disagree with me. Cue the music.
We arrived at our campground (read, paved parking lot in sparsely wooded area) to see that it was being enjoyed by a good number of people. No problem. The many RVs delineated in rope lights didn't even deter us. We were determined to have a fun time, even if it looked like the parking lot of a Wal-Mart in comparison to the campgrounds on the Left Coast. Within three minutes of setting up camp "Barney Fife" came to let us know that there would be a nature film in the .... Wait a minute... Is that ALCOHOL? Number 5 this is Number 6. We've got a situation 1 down here... yeah.. you know... the only thing that ever happens here...
In our effort to find a campsite we missed the LAW that says that alcohol is expressly VERBOTEN in all Tennessee state parks. Oops. So he let us off with a warning and asked us to leave...
NO
"Roscoe P.. Coltrane" was called in for backup. We were a dangerous threat to the sanctity of the Tennessee Wal-Mart parking lot campground.
"You have any other illegal substances here? You know you've waived your rights to privacy now. I'm gonna look through this cooler....OH MY. They have more beer in here. There must be enough beer in here for each of them to have three a piece! You know we could fine you and put you in jail for this. This is a very serious crime. That's why we didn't bother to tell you before you came here that bringing any alcohol is tantamount to murder"
OK, so thats a little exaggerated. But we were kicked out of the park. After we had to pour out all our drinks. Then we were allowed to leave (without the $18 we had paid to get in only 5 minutes previous). Then we left Hickson County - oh sorry Dickson County- and went back to my brother's friend's house and had a great evening. We even camped out in the back yard.
I think I'm overreacting a little bit. But in comparison, we don't have those types of problems in California. People are allowed to make bad decisions. If you get drunk and rowdy, you get kicked out of the park. If you drink and keep to yourself... well, nobody minds. Maybe things are different in the moonshine state. The land of Jack Daniel's. The irony is that the county in which that particular drink is made is a dry county. You can't even buy it there.
Different states for different people. I love my home. It has its own brand of weirdness, but it's my homestate.
In conclusion I learned that camping in Tennessee can land you in jail. I also learned that Pappy's seasoning works still works wonders on Ribeye steaks in Tenn. as it does on Tri-Tip in California (Why don't people out East know what a Tri Tip is? Can you believe that they just grind it into hamburger?).
Old Roscoe just doesn't know how to handle them Duke boys. You can listen in here. We've got him on tape!
Coming up on Mountain Power Lineman.
The Cracker Barrel : No, gravy is not a food group
2 comments:
Yes you have to watch out for those hooligan Walker boys. What rascals they are, too! Now I understand why you said you camped out in a back yard. Ha! Regarding the tri-tips, you can order them from a butcher by the name "bottom sirloin butt" and "triangle roast" from what I am told. Pappy's seasoning is the best, but use the low sodium version if you need to cut the salt. It still tastes great. Now I don't know what you can do about gravy like they have at a Cracker Barrel, though. It has to be made with drippings (read FAT) and flour, salt, pepper and milk. All stuff that ain't no good fer ya. Yummmm! None of that "yuppie" gravy with wild mushrooms or "sun-dried tomato and chicken sausage" in it. It just won't do for Country gravy!! I will be waiting for your view of the ol' Cracker Barrel and the vittles served there.
Why, you rabble rousing west-coasters! How I would loved to have watched your escapades but they probably would have thrown me in a cell for intoxication due to the laughter. I'm laughing just reading about it. Try to behave yourselves at the wedding reception. Is there going to be a west-coast reception at some point? If there is, perhaps I can come down to help g-ma Nadine get there. She absolutely adores all of you. Probably best not to let her in on your little camping run-in though... :)
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